It’s only been a few days since the zombie apocalypse began and some smart-ass is already treating the whole thing like one big joke. Listen, man… you don’t go running around ground zero dressed up like a zombie! Sure you might get a few lulz, but you might just get a gun pulled on your dumb ass too. (For real, check out the 2:00 minute mark!)
We’ve got face-eaters in Miami, ear-chewers on Staten Island and Kenyan cannibals in Maryland. But what does the Center For Disease Control do? They deny the existence of a zombie outbreak altogether! That’s right… just one year after telling us to prepare for the inevitable zombie apocalypse, official agency spokes-flunky David Daigle backtracked in an email to some crappy website:
CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms),
Sure, man… sure. It’s just a big taxpayer-funded joke until you have to deal with the zombie apocalypse for real. Then it’s all “Nevermind, we were just kidding! Ha, ha.” Well, you can keep blaming the outbreak on “cocaine psychosis” or “bath salts” or whatever. But we know what’s really going down, man. We know.