If you’re one of those single-issue voters, and your issue is zombies… well, you’re in luck! Democrat presidential candidate Vermin Supreme is your candidate! He’s prepared to offer free ponies to all Americans and harness the unlimited power of zombies:
“…harnessing the awesome power of zombies for energy sources. It’s not just to run away from anymore. No, we have giant turbines that we’re working on. And we will have lots of zombies, and we’ll sort of just dangle brains in front of them. And then they will turn the giant turbines creating energy.”
Whoa, hold on just a second there! Who exactly is this “we” that has giant turbines? And just who’s brains does he plan on dangling in front of these zombies? Ya’ know, on second thought… i’m not really sure this Democrat has a sound domestic policy here.
But if you want to contribute to his campaign, by all means go ahead and visit his blog, Live Stream or YouTube accounts. You can even download his official iPhone App. Of course you’d only be adding to the evil, corrupting influence of money in political campaigns. But with a name like Vermin’s Secret Slushfund, i think he’s being refreshingly upfront about his intentions!