The Zombie Bottle

If retrieving your survival tools from a sardine can doesn’t seem manly enough to you, perhaps you’d like to break open a bottle instead? Personally, i wouldn’t enjoy fishing matches or a band-aid out of a pile of broken glass. But maybe The Zombie Bottle wasn’t meant for me:

The Zombie Bottle is your first line of defense when the epidemic takes hold. Contained within are all the essential supplies to immediately survive the horde, plus doubles as a familiar bar fighting weapon.

A “familiar bar fighting weapon?” Do these guys work at The Double Deuce or something? Also, i don’t consider ear plugs and chocolate candy “essential supplies” that would help anyone “immediately survive the horde.”

But if you feel like a metal spike and some disinfectant wipes might help you survive the zombie apocalypse, just swing by the official website and place your order. Afterall, you do get two Zombie Bottles for the low price of just $14.99 (beer not included.)

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