House Of The Dead

Did this movie become a cult classic while i wasn’t paying attention? I’d actually heard about House Of The Dead for years, but everything i’ve heard was really bad. And now everyone talks about it fondly, like it’s the new The Evil Dead or something! Of course i couldn’t say anything because i’d never actually seen it for myself… until now.

Anyway, the entire movie has a sort of low-budget, 1980’s vibe about it… even though it was apparently made in 2003. So i’m not really sure what to think. Is it a clever send-up of classic horror films, an earnest low-budget feature or just an incompetent mess?

Personally, i’m gonna’ go with something like “stupid, silly little zombie movie.” I mean, House Of The Dead is basically just a Scooby-Doo adventure for teenagers. It’s got a creepy island, scary monsters and a Spanish galleon… they just threw in a few boobs and slapped an R-rating on the sucker!

Best Scene: The bullet-time stuff was generally pretty stupid, unnecessary and random. But at one point a zombie did a flying, axe-throwing, mid-air flip in slow-mo… and i was almost impressed. Almost.

Worst Scene: Why the hell did they edit actual video game footage directly into the movie? Did they think the video game graphics of 1996 looked totally cutting-edge and awesome or something?

Lazarus Award: Usually only the bad guys come back from the dead. But this time it’s our busty, fencing heroine who returns from the grave for one last, squishy head-stomp!

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One Response to House Of The Dead

  1. Liz Schulte says:

    Ha! I haven’t seen House of the Dead. I like cheesy, I might have to check it out. When you mentioned the Spanish galleons it immediately made me think of the video game Resident Evil 4 where the people run around saying muerto, muerto.

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